


come back when you can (let go, you'll understand)

by settledthesun



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Danny's backstory, F/F, Greek Mythology - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Minor Laura Hollis/Danny Lawrence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-04-08 09:49:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4300155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/settledthesun/pseuds/settledthesun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'It turns out the Summer Society is essentially a front for a group of strong, capable girls who carry out the will of Artemis.</p><p>As in, ancient Greek goddess Artemis.'</p><p>or</p><p>Danny's spent her whole life protecting those who can't protect themselves. So when the safety of Silas rests on her shoulders, she sacrifices her well-being by stopping the Adonis Hunt, and heads into the darkness of the forest where her own fate awaits her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	come back when you can (let go, you'll understand)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm seriously considering starting a series of oneshots called 'why does this show hate Danny so much?'
> 
> 1\. I'm seriously worried about Danny. Like, really worried. There's been too much foreshadowing of death for my liking. The 'it's your funeral line' has me seriously on edge. That said, I've read a lot of interesting theories about the SumSoc being the hunters of Artemis. Unfortunately, a great deal of them seem to revolve round zeta society, which...let's just not talk about that.  
> 2\. My knowledge of Greek mythology is limited to one year of Classical Civilisation classes. ie. very poor. I took a bunch of liberties writing this, so, for the purposes of this fic, just imagine that Artemis is actually a pretty chill hella feminist goddess.  
> 3\. I got this whole thing out today and i am S O T I R E D, but i was determined to post it by the end of the day, so all inevitable mistakes are on me and i apologise for that.  
> 4\. I made a mix inspired by this fic! Listen whilst you read, if you dare: http://8tracks.com/rachedie/come-back-when-you-can

****

> “We have not touched the stars,  
>  nor are we forgiven, which brings us back  
>  to the hero’s shoulders and the gentleness that comes,  
>  not from the absence of violence, but despite  
>  the abundance of it.”
> 
>   
>  ― Richard Siken,  _Crush_

 

 

 

 

 

When Danny is eight years old, she sees a girl in her grade being picked on by a bunch of boys.

She had been eating her peanut butter and jelly sandwich (her favourite) at one of her school’s picnic tables when she spotted a tight huddle of kids over in the corner of the playground. She had figured it was probably best not to get involved, usually these kind of crowds were because of a particularly intense game of marbles, or the boys daring each other to eat something gross, but a girl’s voice pleading voice carried across the playground and her concern peaked.

She abandons her lunch and heads over to the circle, peering over heads (she’s already taller than most of her class at this point) to find the new girl, Chloe, gripping her new, purple backpack tightly. Her glasses lie on the ground.

Before she had really registered what she was doing, Danny had found herself pushing through the crowd, standing in front of the girl and glaring at the others.

‘Leave her alone,’ she insisted, bravely for an eight year old.

‘What’s it to you?’ One of the boys demand.

‘Nothing, really. But I’m sure Miss Hill would be interested in hearing about this. And she will if you ever pick on Chloe again.’

Miss Hill was everyone’s favourite teacher, and nobody wanted to disappoint her, so the boys, looking between themselves nervously, sent a glare in Danny’s direction before slouching off to hang around by the climbing frame instead.

Danny watched them go, before leaning down to pick up Chloe’s glasses, dusting them off and handing them back with a kind smile.

‘Don’t worry, they’re not broken.’

‘You didn’t have to do that,’ Chloe says shyly, taking her glasses back.

Danny tilted her head a little, looking at the girl quizzically.

‘But it was the right thing to do,’ she says simply.

‘That doesn’t mean everyone would have helped.’

Danny thought about it for a moment, before shrugging and asking if Chloe liked peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

 

 

 

When she’s thirteen, the resident school bully pushes his classmates just a little too far.

She’s on her way home, taking a shortcut down a more secluded area, and ends up walking straight into the middle of a fight. Well, a fight would imply that the victim was fighting back, which he isn’t. Tucker Taylor is the most intimidating kid at her school, and at this moment in time, is being pinned against a wall by his classmates.

Danny had turned the corner just in time to see one boy clock Tucker clean in the nose, whilst another aimed a punch to his gut. She recognises one of the boys as Jacob, a kid who Tucker had tripped in the cafeteria the other day, making him spill his pudding all over himself. Before his punch lands, Danny is there, gripping his arm tightly.

‘Jacob, what the hell are you doing?!’

The boy tries to pull his arm back, but Danny’s grip holds.

‘Giving him a taste of his own medicine, what does it look like?’ he snarled.

‘Oh, and six against one is fair, is it?’

‘No, but it hasn’t been fair any time he’s picked on any of us, either. He had it coming.’

Danny glances at the bully in question, who was whimpering and clutching his bloody nose.

‘No, it’s not fair. He’s a bully. But you’re not,’ she’d says, looking around pointedly at all of them. ‘He deserves punishment for what he’s done, but not like this. You’re not like him, Jacob. You don’t need to stoop to his level.’

Jacob looks her in the eye, and she could see he was wavering. After a few more seconds, he releases his grip on Tucker’s shirt, and Danny in turn lets go of his arm.

‘You’re right,’ he says, before turning to Tucker bitterly. ‘But I’m not apologising.’

With that, Jacob had turns to go, Tucker’s former victims heading after him, a few of them sending unsure glances back to Danny. Danny lets out a nervous breath, flexing her fingers from where they’d been gripping so tightly, and also makes to leave.

‘Thank you,’ comes a quiet voice from behind her. She turns to see Tucker glancing at the ground, blood still dripping steadily from his swollen nose. He looks pathetic.

‘I didn’t do it for you,’ she says. ‘They shouldn’t have to become like you because you’ve pushed them too far. You’re a bully. But that doesn’t mean you necessarily deserve to be beaten to a pulp. Maybe think about that the next time you feel the urge to terrorise a poor kid.’

The next Tuesday she sees him helping up a kid who had fallen over a curb, and smiles to herself.

 

 

 

When she’s sixteen, she gets into her first fight.

She’d been to a Friday night gig with a couple of her friends, and had spent the night laughing and dancing, washing away the stress of another week of classes and academic expectation. A few hours later they were leaving the dingy club, chatting excitedly and heading to the nearest bus stop to make their way home.

They passed by a darkened alley when she noticed the silhouette of two figures against the wall. She would have just assumed it was a couple making out if it hadn’t been for a girl’s voice saying, ‘I’m not interested, just leave me alone, alright.’

Before the guy can even begin to respond, Danny’s marching down the alley, to her friend’s confusion, and tapping the guy on the shoulder.

‘Hey buddy,’ she’d says, as he turns to face her, anger evident at the interruption. ‘She’d clearly not interested, so how about you lay off and leave her alone.’

‘Mind your own fucking business, why don’t you. She’s with me.’

‘I’m really, really not,’ the girl replies, her nervousness given away by the way her voice wavers towards the end.

‘Well, she’s coming with us,’ Danny motions over her shoulder to her friends, a reminder that there are witnesses to this altercation, ‘and you’re going home, alone. Come on,’ she says gently to the girl, wanting to reassure her that she’ll be fine with them.

‘I don’t think so,’ the guy hisses, grabbing the girl’s arm.

‘Big mistake,’ is all Danny says, before her fist is connecting sharply with the guy’s jaw, sending him hard on his back in his semi-drunken state.

‘Holy shit, Danny!’ she hears from behind her, and the girl beside her lets out an impressed huff of laughter.

Danny, grateful for the self-defence classes she’s been taking for the last couple of years, takes the girl’s hand and leads her to her friends, as they hurriedly head away from the alley.

‘Shit, Lawrence, who knew you had it in you,’ Sarah says, eyes still wide.

‘Uh, I did,’ replies Fran. ‘You’re kind buff.’

Danny rolled her eyes, and checked to see the other girl was okay, ignoring the burning pain in her knuckles.

Later that night, she walks the girl home (Stacie, she’d learned her name was) who thanks her genuinely before disappearing into her house.

When her mom asks her why a dark purple bruise has blossomed over her knuckles the next day, she just says she’d taken a particularly brutal hit to the hand during hockey practice.

Her mother rolls her eyes and hands her a coffee.

‘You’ve always got to be right in the fray of it all, don’t you honey.’

 

 

 

During a trip to the supermarket at eighteen, Danny draws the attention of the entire store whilst shouting at an obnoxious business man.

The twins, Dylan and Sophie, have been fighting with each other all day, the way that eight year olds tend to. Danny can tell it’s slowly driving her mother mad, and so has been doing her best to keep the squabbling to a minimum, agreeing to push the two of them around in a shopping cart whilst her mom picks out food or the week.

They’d made it to the end of their list and were waiting in line the pay when Sophie makes the big mistake of taking the only pink donut from the packet they’d put in the cart.

‘You had the pink one last time,’ Dylan screeches, doing his best to grab at it, whilst Sophie just hoists it over her head, out of his reach.

‘You snooze, you lose,’ Sophie says smugly, and Danny groans.

‘I wanted to pink one, it’s the prettiest and it tastes the best, you always get it! It was my turn!’

‘Kids please,’ their mom pleads tiredly, as Danny tries to console Dylan by promising she’d buy him another one.

‘But it’s the- the porcupine of it!’

‘The porcupine-, do you mean the principle?’ Danny laughs.

‘That’s what I said!’ Dylan crowed.

‘Jesus Christ,’ a man in a suit mutters from a place ahead of them in the line.

‘Excuse me,’ her mom asks tensely, ‘is there a problem?’

‘No, it’s the nothing,’ the man grumbles, turning away from them.

‘That’s strange, because it seemed like maybe there was,’ her mom continues, running her hand through her hair in her tired state, a habit that Danny knows she too has picked up.

‘I was just saying, maybe women should rethink having children if they’re unable to control them in public.’

It’s one of those moments where everyone around them immediately seems to go silent, staring unabashedly over at them all with baited breath, waiting for the explosion to come.

And boy, did it come.

‘What the fuck,’ Danny spits.

‘Danny, language,’ her mother chastises.

‘Sorry, ma,’ she mutters distractedly, glancing at the twins quickly before turning her attention back to the man. ‘But how dare you.’

‘How dare I? This is a public space, I should be able to go about my day without having to put up with this kind of shit.’

‘This kind of ‘shit’, Danny repeats, ignoring her mother’s exasperated sigh, ‘is called singlehandedly raising a family, and I’m sure it’s a hell of a lot harder than whatever it is you do.’

‘Singlehandedly? Well, considering what I’ve witnessed, I’d say your old man had the right idea taking off.’

There are a few times Danny can genuinely say she’s red in her life, that she was so fuelled by rage that she had to resist the urge to deliver some serious damage, and this is absolutely tops them all.

She clenches her fists, doing all she can to resist swinging at the man, but, figuring that being arrested in the middle of a supermarket probably won’t look the greatest on her college applications, manages to reign herself back in, and allows her gaze to rake over the man and his purchases, taking a calming breath as she does. She glances at the twins, who were no longer arguing, and instead looking around nervously. Her mom was biting down on a trembling lip, the stress and exhaustion of the week combined with the man’s words close to pushing over the edge.

‘Let me guess,’ is what Danny says, instead. ‘Late thirties, working a dead-end job that you can’t stand, but hey, it’s a job, and it pays the bills. Perpetually single, because from what I’ve seen of your winning personality, you struggle with having women see you as anything other than a gross, basic middle-aged man.’ When the guys takes a step forwards in anger, Danny continues, ‘then again, I’d say your purchases of frozen ready meals, a king-size box of tissues and, oh look, lube, also support my theory. So, whilst my mother raises and supports a family, you’re clearly doing a much better job at life. So, props to you.’

A whole ten seconds of silence follow, Danny’s mom staring at her in shocked awe, and the man going so red in the face it’s a wonder he doesn’t burst.

The silence is broken by the voice of a college student a few registers over saying, ‘shit, dude, she just owned the hell out of you,’ followed by a few of his friends laughing and clapping, causing the man to turn and leave the store, angry and humiliated, abandoning his purchases.

Danny just shrugs, and moves to pile up their purchases, ready to pay.

(The girl at the cash register, (Amber, her name tag reads) a pretty girl with dark hair and dark skin, and who had been trying her best to supress her laughter the entire time, disappears briefly, only to return with a box of pink donuts, handing them to an ecstatic Dylan and waving off Danny’s attempt to pay, saying that they were on her, as an apology for having to put up with ‘gross, entitled white dudes.’

Later, When Danny finds the girl’s number scrawled on the underside of the box, she grins, and when they meet for coffee, she buys her a donut, delighting in her laughter.

When Amber presses Danny against her bedroom wall and kisses her hard, she tastes sugar on her tongue, and Danny is sure it’s the sweetest kiss she’s ever had.)

 

 

 

When Danny starts at Silas University, she feels a greater sense of freedom than she has in years. Leaving her Canadian hometown behind, there’s something about the secluded-ness of Silas that makes her feel strangely free; strangely at home.

She decides her throw herself into college life as much as she can, and she stops by the activities fair, joining the feminist society, literature society and Pride group. She’s looking through her new pamphlets as she heads for the exit, when her another stall catches her eye. It’s manned by a group of girls, and it offers little information about the society other than a large sign with a golden symbol, ‘Summer Society’ emblazoned upon it.

One of the girls catches her gaze and motions with a nod for her to come over. Intrigued, Danny strides over as the girl greets her.

‘Hey, I’m Julie. Are you interested in joining the Summer Society?’ she asks, an easy smile in place.

‘Uh, maybe. I don’t know, what is that you guys actually do?’

‘Well, we’re an all girl’s athletic group, basically. There’s a more to it than that, but that’s the part that usually appeals to people. Are you an athlete?’

‘I played a few sports in high school. And I ran track.’

‘Excellent. Well you should definitely come to our try-outs!’

‘You have try-outs?’

‘Yeah, I mean, we like to be as inclusive as possible, and there are other areas that non-athletes can get involved in, but in generally helps if you can handle your sports, you know?’

‘Makes sense,’ Danny says. ‘Okay, well I’ll think about.’

‘Great, they’re next Monday at half six on the sports field. Hope to see you there.’

 

 

 

After deliberating over it for the remainder of the week, the following Monday Danny finds herself waiting amongst a group of other hopeful girls, running shoes laced up and heart pounding softly from her gentle warm up.

She gets called up for the three hundred metre sprint by a slightly intimidating girl, who Danny guesses must be the president. 

She crouches by the starting line, hears the whistle, and runs.

(Later, Julie tells her that she set the quickest try-out time in the last five years.)

 

 

 

The first few months of Danny’s freshman year are intense.

Her class schedule takes a while to get used to, and many late nights are spent on assigned reading and scrawling notes onto to pages of everything from Homer to Chaucer to Woolf. She makes friends in her classes and societies, and delights in being able to spend free time gushing over Joan Didion, or feeling the mountainous breeze during her morning runs along the edge of the forest.

Summer Society is perhaps her favourite part of studying at Silas. The girls are all approachable and supportive of each other, and always looking out for the wellbeing of the female student-body, not excluding genderqueer students. She was only one of a few girls allowed in at the beginning of the year, but there’s a still a fair few of them altogether. She’s come to realise that the rival society, Zeta Omega Mu, is a giant pain in the Summer Society’s ass, but so far they haven’t been too bad.

She spends time with a lot of the sisters, but the person she’s probably closest to is a girl called Mel Callis. She had been a few seconds shy of Danny’s time at try-outs (which she insists was because she had injured her ankle a couple of weeks before) and the two of them formed a playful rivalry, often consisting of going for runs together, or studying in the library, or sometimes just chatting and hanging out over coffee at the campus café.

(One time she told her about the incident with the douchebag at the supermarket, and Mel laughed so hard she choked on her pie. Danny had been terrified she was going to have to perform the Heimlich manoeuvre in the middle of a coffeehouse.)

So yeah, Silas is pretty great.

 

 

 

That is, until one day, when it suddenly becomes kind of fucking terrifying.

She’d received a message that afternoon telling her to come to a Summer Society meeting in the house later that night (as a freshman, she lived in the student dorms). They usually didn’t have last minute meetings like this, so by the time Danny was walking into the house, she had already spent an hour trying to work out what it could be about. The door opens before she can knock, and she’s ushered in, the door locking behind her.

 

 

 

That evening, Danny Lawrence walks into the Summer Society house, more oblivious than she could ever have known.

 

Three hours later, she leaves with the knowledge that the supernatural is very, very real.

 

 

 

Danny’s not even sure she could remember most of what was said to them by Emma, the president; it felt like a blur, or one of those dreams you’re not totally sure you’ve really woken up from.

Turns out the Summer Society is essentially a front for a group of strong, capable girls who carry out the will of Artemis.

As in, ancient Greek goddess Artemis.

(One of the girls actually fainted at this point. None of the older sisters were surprised.)

Danny studied Classics a little in high school, so she knows the basics about Artemis; hunter and protector of girls. And apparently, as Emma informs them, that’s exactly what the purpose of the Summer Society is; to protect women on campus and beyond. It’s a tradition that’s been around for centuries upon centuries, presumably formed by Artemis herself. Emma called them warriors, selected from the finest, and Danny had felt her head getting hazy. This was a lot to take in.

Emma had then continued to talk about something called the Adonis Hunt, and Danny vaguely recalls reading about it at school. Emma was vague on the details, but once a year they hunt some kind of ceremonial stag, and it’s a pretty big deal.

‘Every single year?’ one of the girls has asked.

‘Without fail,’ Emma had replied. ‘The Hunt can never be stopped.’

‘Why not?’ Mel asked. ‘What happens?’

The older girls glanced uncomfortably at one another.

‘It’s only ever been stopped once,’ one of them explained. ‘It was centuries ago.’

‘What happened?’ Danny finally managed to find her voice and asked.

‘The girl who was responsible is said to have experience a burning pain in her hand, and the next day she disappeared. Never to be seen again. Nobody really knows what happened to her, but she was most likely killed.’

Silence settled amongst the girls.

‘Spooky,’ Mel broke the silence. ‘So anyway, do we get bows and arrows and shit?’

 

 

 

The next two years pass comfortably.

Danny gets used to the whole supernatural reveal surprisingly quickly, and the Summer Society becomes as enjoyable as it used to be, though there’s a constant weight on her shoulders that she can’t seem to lift. But classes are fine, and she continues to make friends. She even dates a few girls, though nothing too serious.

By the beginning of her third year, she’s Vice President of outdoor rec, and she’s the TA for Professor Ellis’ nineteenth century literature class.

It’s also the year that she meets Laura Hollis. And everything changes.

 

 

 

A long story short: she falls in love.

Slowly at first, fuelled by lingering looks and brushing hands when handing back essays in class, the occasional coffee and pie date. And then, all at once, it hits hard, and she’s throwing herself into questionable situations in order to help Laura (as well as the Summer Society. Elsie’s gone missing and it’s left them with a feeling of dread.)

For a while, her feelings for Laura have her on a high. Because she looks at Laura with bright eyes and a full heart, and for a while, she sees that same look mirrored in Laura’s wonderfully expressive face.

She lets herself think this could work out.

She lets Laura kiss her one night as they’re brainstorming together.

She lets herself fall too far, too fast and too hard.

If high school physics taught Danny anything, it’s that the higher an object falls from, the more damage it does.

The landing breaks her heart.

 

 

 

Growing up, Danny was instilled with a great sense of right and wrong by her mother. From her, Danny learned that whenever you can help, you should.

When her dead-beat dad left when she was ten, she sucked it up in order to be there for her mom, and for Dylan and Sophie, who were only a few months old.

All those times she saw kids being picked on at school, she did something about it. She reached out, she offered reassurance, she tried her best to make a difference.

It’s just who she is.

So when she was told by Perry that Carmilla had escaped and was alone with Laura, she ran. Her only thought was to protect Laura. Laura was human, Carmilla was a vampire, surely most people would come to the conclusion that something needed to be done.

 

Looking back, she thinks Laura’s ‘I don’t need a dad’ probably cut sharper than Carmilla’s fingers around her throat.

 

 

 

Weeks pass and she avoids Laura.

 

 

(Laura asks to see her and her heart lifts.

Laura asks for an extension and her heart drops.)

 

 

Weeks pass and she avoids Laura.

 

 

 

The campus goes to shit, and the Dean attacks and she’s right in the middle of it along with the Summer Society.

(‘ _You’ve always got to be right in the fray of it all_ ,’ her mom had said.)

The battle goes on for hours.

Carmilla doesn’t make it.

 

 

 

A week later, she doesn’t even stop to think before throwing herself in the pit after Kirsch had rushed to come and find her.

She doesn’t think of all the shit Carmilla has pulled since she came into her life three months ago. She doesn’t think about how saving her will lead to Laura and Carmilla’s happy ending. She doesn’t think of anything other than the fact that Carmilla is someone who needs help, and Danny can give that to her. Danny can try.

 

 

 

They get their happy ending.

They flee to safety.

They celebrate Christmas.

 

 

 

Danny doesn’t not get her happy ending.

Danny stays to fight.

Danny misses Christmas with her family for the first time.

 

 

 

Tensions between the Summers and the Zetas reach breaking point and chaos ensues. There’s bickering, and protests, and the occasional fist fight. The worst part of all, is that it’s putting a strain on the relationships between the sisters too.

Danny and Mel weren’t as close as they were during freshman year, but Danny still considered her a good friend.

Now, however, Mel is calling her out in front of the entire Summer Society.

‘You _knew_ that a vampire was on our campus, and you did jack-shit about it.’

‘That’s not true,’ Danny emphasises, throwing her hands up in frustration. ‘I had it under control, she wasn’t a threat.’

‘Well it’s sure as hell safe to say that her mother was. And considering that she was also, you know, _the Dean,_ you had a responsibility to tell us.’

‘I didn’t know that until recently. Do you really think I would have just continued on with my day to day life if I knew the goddamn Dean was a villainous monster.’

‘I don’t know, Danny, because it’s becoming more and more evident that none of us really know you anymore,’ Mel states coldly.

This hits Danny right in the chest, catching her off guard, leaving her to gape before the sisters, speechless.

‘By the way, once we get past all this supernatural ridiculousness, I wouldn’t bother running for president next year,’ Mel says, shoving her shoulder into Danny’s as she passes by and exits the room.

Danny just watches her go.

 

 

 

Laura and company return to campus.

Danny and Mel are forced to work together again, only to run into Kirsch and Theo at every corner.

Laura continues to not realise what leaving the entire campus behind meant.

Carmilla continues to brood apathetically in the background.

 

 

 

(‘I’m glad you’re back, Laura,’ she says.

 _But it still really fucking hurts_ , she doesn’t say.)

 

 

 

As if things weren’t stressful enough, Carmilla’s long lost sister enters the game.

Danny’s incredibly wary of her. Where Carmilla is lazy and disinterested, Matska Belmonde is sharp, invested and impossible to read.

Saving the campus, apparently, also isn’t necessarily at the top of her priorities.

The whole ‘piercing scream’ party trick she has up her sleeve isn’t the best surprise in the world either.

 

 

 

Danny spends the next week holed up in the Summer Society lodge, searching through hundreds of old books in their private library, looking for anything that could help keep the campus safe.

It’s a waste of time.

 

 

 

One night, a couple of days later, Danny’s pulled from her slumber by a pain in her head so intense she’s sure that it’s about to split into two. She grips at it desperately but the pain continues relentlessly, until she eventually passes out.

She opens her eyes sometime later, only to find herself very much not in her bedroom, and instead in a clearing, surrounded by trees with the night sky looking down at her. She picks herself up off of the forest floor and peers around, shoulders squared in case this is another of the Dean’s games (a likely possibility). She’s considering heading into the trees when she hears movement behind her, and whips around to find a woman watching her. She doesn’t look surprised to see her, and there’s something about the way she’s looking at Danny that makes her heart race in a strange kind of terror.

She takes a few steps forward, closing the distance between the two of them, and Danny finds herself physically unable to move, as if her feet have been rooted the spot.

The women has dark eyes, almost as dark as her hair, which is tied back into an elaborate braid. A silver pendant rests against her chest, and Danny peers at the etching, making out what she thinks must be antlers, with what looks like an arrow weaving between them. She looks back up and the woman stares Danny evenly in the eye, before bringing her fingers to rest against either one of Danny’s temples, and simply saying, ‘pay attention.’

Danny’s head snaps back as if pushed by an invisible force and her head is suddenly rushing with hundreds of images. She catches glimpses of people and places, but nothing stands out long enough for her to take fully take it in. A second later, however, she finds herself standing in Laura and Carmilla’s new room. She calls to them, but they don’t hear her, or maybe can’t even see her. A moment later, Kirsch is rushing in, looking ridiculous, wearing only a small sheet and- are those antlers? Everything shifts and suddenly Mel is there, bow drawn, and arrow pointed at Kirsch’s heart. Laura puts herself between them.

Another shift.

Mel’s arrow flies, catching Laura’s arm before imbedding itself in Kirsch’s bare chest. Danny’s gasp quickly turns into a horrified scream as she watches Carmilla lunge forward and swiftly snap Mel’s neck. Laura desperately tries to stop the bleeding, but Kirsch’s face has already gone white. She stands, dripping in blood, staring at Carmilla in horror as the vampire struggles to resist the thick stench of the blood.

Shift.

The campus is at war again, Zetas and Summers lunging at one another with any weapon they can find.

Shift.

Whilst everyone is fighting, they fail to notice the angler fish take on a sinister glow. It roars. It moves aside. From the depths of the pit, a figure rises.

The Dean.

Screeching. Screaming. Fire.

Shift.

Carmilla and Mattie held down by the Dean’s demons as they’re forced to watch students get slaughtered.

Shift.

Theo, throat slashed. Dead.

Shift.

LaFontaine and Perry, beside one another, LaFontaine’s draped across Perry’s middle. Dead.

Shift.

Laura is in the tight grip of a grotesque demon with red eyes and no mouth. Carmilla is crying and pleading. Laura’s eyes are glassy, but she refuses to let her tears fall.

The Dean slinks closer, catlike, and rests a hand gently against Laura’s cheek.

‘I’m sorry, dear Carmilla,’ she says, not looking away, bringing her hand closer to Laura’s neck. ‘But your meddling is over, Laura Hollis.’

The Dean’s wrist flicks, quick as lightening, and Danny screams.

She screams, and she’s back in her room.

She tumbles out of her bed, shirt sticking to her back with sweat, and hands shaking uncontrollably. She stumbles over to her wastepaper bin and vomits.

She spends the rest of the night staring up at her ceiling, desperately trying to convince herself that it was just a bad dream.

 

 

 

Two days later, it’s the day of the annual Adonis festival and hunt. She’s weaving through small crowds on campus, making sure all the freshmen know what they’re supposed to be doing.

‘I don’t know, this just doesn’t feel right,’ Danny overhears when passing a group of the youngest sisters.

‘I know what you mean, surely this like, goes against what we stand for?’

‘What are you talking about,’ Danny asks them, appearing at their side, and they look around guiltily.

‘The Hunt,’ one of them, Jessica, Danny thinks, says.

‘What about it? We do this every year, you know that, we told you at your initiation.’

‘Yeah, you told us we hunted a stag, not a Zeta.’

‘What?’ Danny asks sharply.

‘The ‘stag’, is a Zeta in antlers. Surely we’re not going to hunt him? I saw Mel take off after him earlier and she seemed pretty determined.’

‘Oh my God,’ Danny chokes, before sprinting off in the direction of Laura’s room, feet pounding the concrete as fast as she can force herself.

It wasn’t a dream.

It was a vision.

She takes the stairs three at a time after throwing the front doors of the building opening, yelling Mel’s name as she goes. As she reaches the end of the corridor, she can hear Mel’s taunting tone and she expels the last of her energy in rounding the corner as quickly as possible, lurching forward and banging the door open, grabbing Mel’s arrow, preventing its release.

It’s not until Mel, face shifting into an old, familiar concern that makes Danny think of the times they spent together freshman year, lowers her bow and says, ‘you know what that means?’ that Danny fully accepts what this will lead to.

‘It doesn’t matter.’

‘It’s your funeral.’

 _Yes_ , she thinks, already feeling the fabled burning on the inside of her palm. _It probably is._

 

 

She stays for a while, ignoring Kirsch’s naïve advances and sending him off, leaving the three of them alone. When Laura’s back is turned, and Carmilla’s attention is focused on a book, she quickly glances at her right palm. It’s a dull pain at the moment, but it’s already increased in the last twenty minutes. Looking closer, she can see that symbol has appeared, almost as if it had been branded onto her skin. With a jolt, she realises that it looks familiar. Laura’s call out to her and she fixes her attention back to her. She stays for another ten minutes to churn out some lie about being out of the running for president, and asks Laura what she and Carmilla have discovered in order to make them think that everything’s completely normal. She thinks she catches Carmilla shooting her a look of mild confusion, but Laura seems none the wiser. Carmilla says something about going to see Mattie, before heading out of the room (Danny senses some kind of tension between she and Laura) and Danny makes to do the same.

Laura follows her to the door and thanks her for her help.

‘Honestly, that was really brave of you. And I’m sorry about the presidency thing. Everyone knows you’d do the best job.’

‘Thanks.’

Laura leans against the doorframe. ‘Kirsch likes you, you know? I mean _like_ likes you.’

‘I figured,’ she says simply.

‘I guess he’s gonna be disappointed, huh?’

‘Well, there is the whole ‘gay thing’ he probably should have taken into account,’ she says in an attempt to remain light-hearted. Laura smiles softly and she’s suddenly struck by a rush of love she thought had remained locked away.

‘Anyway,’ she starts, throat dry. ‘It’s not like there’s exactly room in my heart for anyone else right now.’

Laura’s smile disappears as she takes a breath. She shifts on her feet and looks up Danny, face etched with sadness. ‘Danny-,’ she begins.

She decides she’s better off not hearing it. She’ll allow herself that, at least.

Her palm is hit by another burning sensation.

‘It’s okay,’ she says, instead. ‘It’s okay. Goodbye, Laura.’

‘I’ll see you later? Let you know if I find anything else out.’

Danny just smiles softly, before turning and heading for the stairs.

 

 

 

She’s not sure exactly what’s supposed to happen next. She doesn’t know whether she’s supposed to just sit around and wait, or get on with things and see what happens.

She looks up over the turrets of the main campus. The sun has nearly set, and the sky will soon be littered with stars, just like in her dream.

Just like the dream.

She knows where she has to go.

 

 

 

As she stands by the forest’s edge, she thinks back to the times she spent here during her first year, racing Mel between the trees, laughing so hard she could barely breathe one time when Mel tripped over a root and into a puddle.

She thinks back to Mel’s face an hour ago, the crack in her armour showing her concern for Danny, knowing she was going to be entering the unknown. She hopes that Mel remembers what it is they should be fighting for. Mel deserves to be free, and happy, and oh so strong.

Because that’s the thing about Danny. No matter what, she wants to believe the best in people. Sure, Carmilla drove her absolutely crazy, and she definitely seriously considered staking her on a few occasions, but in the end she sacrificed herself. And whilst it may have primarily been for Laura, she saved a lot of other people too.

And even Kirsch, with his dimness and uneducated sexism and general grossness, could be a good guy if he tried. There was no way he deserved what Mel was going to do to him. Just like Tucker Taylor didn’t deserve to be beaten to a pulp when they were thirteen years old.

All Danny has ever wanted was to help keep people safe.

It makes sense, she thinks, that this is what she’s going to die doing.

She looks deep into the forest, between the trees, and recalls the memory of reading Harry Potter to Dylan and Sophie a few years ago. She remembers nearing the end of the final book, and Dylan and Sophie panicking, clinging to Danny on either side.

‘But what’s he doing, he can’t go into the forest, Voldermort’s in there!’ Dylan had asked desperately.

‘He’s doing it to save everyone,’ Danny had explained patiently.

‘Why?’ Dylan asked again.

‘Because,’ Sophie had said, gripping onto the stuffed wolf Danny had bought her for her birthday that year, ‘that’s what heroes do.’

Danny takes a deep breath.

She enters the forest.

 

 

 

She’s been walking for what can’t have been all that long, when her palm burns so painfully, it travels up her arm and Danny has to pause for a moment to catch her breath and wait for the pain to subside, which it eventually does. She takes a few calming breaths before continuing onwards.

A few moments later, the trees seem to part, and soon enough she’s standing in a clearing, identical to the one she had been shown.

She walks into the centre, and this time when she turns to her right, she’s not surprised to see the same woman standing there.

She’s watching her in the same way as before, but this time when she comes closer, she doesn’t say anything or reach out to touch her, she just stands there, as if waiting for something.

Danny looks her up and down. Her hair is up in the same braid, and she’s wearing loose pants, with light hunting boots, and an earthy green tunic, a series of leather belts and buckles holding everything in place, including a quiver of arrows strapped to her back.

‘You’re her, aren’t you?’ Danny asks, voice surprisingly calm. Resigned, almost. ‘You’re Artemis.’

‘I did not think it would take you long,’ Artemis smiles. ‘What made you realise?’

‘Your pendant,’ Danny says, nodding to the silver necklace. ‘It’s the same as this,’ she holds out her palm, where the symbol has been burned into her flesh. ‘Antlers and an arrow. It wasn’t necessarily the most subtle.’

Artemis laughs at this, and Danny is taken aback by how- well, human, she seems.

‘Whoever said I was trying to be subtle?’

Now it’s Danny’s turn to be amused, ‘should I just assume that there are hundreds of Greek deities walking the streets every day,’ she jokes. Artemis, however, doesn’t laugh, just raises a knowing eyebrow. ‘Wait, are you serious?’

‘Well, why wouldn’t we? Sometimes we enjoy walking amongst mortals. You may not be able to see us, but you’re a very entertaining species.’ At Danny’s shocked expression she says, ‘come now, I would have thought you’d be used to the ways of those beyond your human existence, Danny Lawrence.’

‘It’s not the easiest of things to just accept,’ she admits. Then, becoming unnerved by how the encounter is going, hurriedly says, ‘what will happen to my body?’

‘Well, that depends on how the following events unfold.’

‘Oh, I have some say in my death, do I? How kind.’

Artemis pauses for a moment, before another small smiles appears upon her lips. ‘It would seem that you may have misunderstood the situation you find yourself in.’

Danny stays silent.

‘I am not here to kill you.’

‘…I don’t understand. Everyone in the Summer Society knows that you can’t stop an Adonis Hunt. It’s only ever happened once, and the girl received the same mark, never to be seen again.’

‘That is correct.’

‘So, she was killed?’

‘That is not correct.’

‘This doesn’t make any sense.’

‘Then allow me to explain. What you say is true, and I am aware that is a story passed down through generations of sisters. What isn’t told, however, is that the prey that year was not the traditional ceremonial stag. It was the girl of a local poor family. She had a mother and siblings to look after, and did all she could to be able to feed them. As luck would have it, when attempting to hunt in the forest one day, she ran into my father, Zeus. I’m sure you’ve heard the legends. He is not the kindest of the gods, by any stretch of the imagination. He saw that this girl was in need, and struck up a deal. If she could help a group of local hunters catch their stag, he would make sure the girl’s family were provided for. The girl agreed without a second’s hesitation, willing to do anything for those she loved. Zeus then proceeded to transform her into a stag, having previously killed my ceremonial stag, and sending her in the direction of the hunters who, as I’m sure you’ve gathered by now, were my Summer Society sisters. He had no real reason for doing it, he just enjoyed causing the suffering of humans.’

Danny listens on, full of questions, but not wanting to interrupt.

‘Unable to transform back, the girl ran desperately through the forest, leaping over roots and branches, desperate to escape the hungry arrows of the sisters. But a stag was not her true nature, and she soon tired easily. It was then that a couple of the sisters cornered her, bows drawn and arrows ready. The leader of the sisters had been about to let her arrow fly into her breast, when another cried out for her to stop. Unable to explain why, she crouched and approached the girl slowly. It was only when she was up close that she knew why she had felt such a need to stop the hunt. The stag’s eyes were a deep shade of green that she had only ever seen once before, in the eyes of a poor girl. She had been the only human to have given her any sort of aid, when she had seen her begging for food in the local town one day. She had given her money for a warm meal, and then bought her meat, fur and medicine for the winter. Her youngest brother was not yet one, and would have died without the girl’s help.’

‘What happened to her?’ Danny asks.

‘Nobody has stopped a hunt before, so none of the women knew what would happen. A couple of days later, the sister felt a burning within her palm. That is how I am able to communicate with you. My symbol allows some of my energy to pass into you, and in turn you are able to view me as if I am human. The next day she too entered the woods where we met. I revealed myself to her, and she begged for me not to hurt any of them, that it was all her fault, and she just did what she thought was right. I told her I was not there to punish her, but instead to reward her, if you will. To present her with an offer. The sister was the embodiment of what I stand for. She was there to offer help and guidance to a young girl when nobody would help her. She was willing to go against tradition to do what was right. That takes courage. My offer was this: she could return home, unscathed and with my blessing, or she could join me, and through an exchange of blood, serve by my side for all eternity.’

‘An immortal,’ Danny whispers.

‘And which do you suppose she chose?’ Artemis prompts.

‘So that’s why she was never seen again,’ Danny realises. ‘She joined you in immortality.’

‘Yes. She still serves by my side, watching over girls and women in need.’

‘That’s-. Wow,’ is what Danny finally settles on.

‘And it is an offer, Danny Lawrence, which I am here today to make to you.’

‘Me?’ she gapes, confusion clouding her senses. At Artemis’ nod, she continues to voice her disbelief. ‘But I don’t understand. I stopped the hunt, but it wasn’t because of Zeus or a girl transformed into a stag. They were chasing Kirsch!’

‘Ah yes. From what I’ve seen, not necessarily the most valiant of men. Though my purpose is to protect women, I do not condemn all men to fire. But it wasn’t just Kirsch. Your whole life, you’ve put everyone before yourself. Your mother, your brother and sister, friends, strangers. Even people who have done harm, you believe that redemption is possible.’

Danny’s throat is thick and she can feel her fingers trembling by her side.

‘You relinquished your heart’s desire because it would bring her happiness. You did it because it was the _right_ thing to do, and to value that, is to be the person that others should look to. Should you accept my offer, you would be at one with the world; with the sky, with the earth, with the animals. You shall experience everything that there is to feel. Lightening will course through your veins and you will view the world from above the clouds. You could do good for all of eternity.’

‘What about my family? My friends?’

‘For all intents and purposes you would be dead to them. That is the price you must pay. You would not be able to communicate with them. You could aid them from afar, but you could not directly meddle in their affairs.’

‘So, what did you mean earlier about what would happen to my body? Would I just die here, now?’

‘This is not your physical form speaking with me now. Your body lies somewhere on the edge of the forest. That overwhelming burning you experienced upon your entry into the trees was your consciousness leaving your physical form.’

‘So-, so I’m dead?’

‘Not quite. Your heart still beats, but your physical form is slowly shutting down. You decision must be made quickly. Right now your body is tight in the clutches of a human girl.’

‘What? What do you mean?’

‘See for yourself,’ Artemis says, reaching for Danny’s temple like she had done before.

Danny closes her eyes, and she sees her body, crumpled and forehead bloody from where she must have hit it when she fell. Her head is in Laura’s lap, as the girl holds her close, crying and looking around desperately for help.

‘Why isn’t she waking up? Carmilla, what’s happening?’

‘I-I don’t know. She’s alive, but her heartbeat is barely there. I think it’s slowing down.’

‘Oh God, no, Danny, please. Please don’t go. We need you. I need you.’

She brushes a red tendril out of Danny’s closed eyes, blood smudging across her skin.

‘Please, Danny,’ she whispers against her temple. ‘Come back to us.’

As if being doused in icy water, Danny is brought back to the clearing where Artemis waits.

At least she didn’t throw up this time, she thinks, in a daze, recalling the last time.

_The last time._

‘But I didn’t just do it for Kirsch,’ Danny says desperately. ‘I mean, I would have tried to stop it anyway, but I saw things. Awful things. You showed me what would happen if Mel killed Kirsch. You showed me what would happen to Silas, to the students. Why would you do that?’

Artemis smiled. If Danny didn’t know better, she would have thought it almost looked a little sad, as if she’d been waiting for this. ‘Because I knew that if you saw what was coming, you would not accept my offer. You are a true warrior, Danny Lawrence, but I did not wish to gain your soul under false pretences. Not when I know that there is still good for you to do on this plain.’

‘Why can’t you stop her?’ Danny questions. ‘The Dean, why can’t you just destroy her. Zap her with lightening or a really big arrow or something.’

Artemis grimaces. ‘We may be powerful, but we are not the only gods at play here. There are some things not even we can prevent.’

‘Well, can we prevent it? If we fight, is there a chance we could defeat her?’

‘I cannot see everything. But it is certainly not impossible.’

Danny sighs, running her hand through her hair and rubbing at her eyes. She’s tired.

‘Then I guess you have my answer.’

‘It was is what I had expected,’ Artemis responds. ‘In a moment you will awaken back in your physical form, you will feel a little disoriented but that will pass. Your sacrifice delayed the angler fish’s awakening, but it is only a matter of time.’

Danny heaves a breath, and Artemis reaches beneath her tunic, producing a golden dagger, the hilt etched with an intricate design of the gods. She fastens it to Danny’s side.

‘Do not lose hope. You are true, and in this world, that is all a person can ever want to be.’ Her hand comes to rest under Danny’s chin, lowering it so that they made complete eye contact. ‘May all the luck in the world be with you, Danny Lawrence.’

 

_Come back to us._

 

And with that, Danny’s head bursts into scorching pain that lasts no more than a couple of seconds, before she’s throwing her eyes open, taking a deep breath as if she’d been held under water for minutes.

‘Oh my God, Danny, you’re alive.’

She registers the words distantly, taking heaving breaths as she tries to level the rise and fall of her chest. It still feels heavy though, and once she gains the strength to raise her head and look down, she sees Laura collapsed again her chest, clutching at her shirt, knuckles white.

She manages to raise her hand and brings it to rest upon the top of Laura’s head.

She looks to her right, where Carmilla kneels, a hand holding onto Laura’s shoulder. Danny’s taken aback by the genuine relief on her face.

‘You good?’ is all she says.

‘Yeah,’ Danny says. Her throat is scratchy and dry.

She heaves herself up so that she’s leaning back on her arms as Laura leans back, eyes blotchy and red. ‘What the hell were you doing?’ she cries. ‘Carmilla said she was worried you were going to do something stupid, and then we just found you here in the forest. You weren’t moving and there was blood and-.’

‘Laura, Laura, it’s okay. I just-, owed somebody a visit.’

She sees Carmilla glance down at her open palm, where Artemis’ symbol remains. She thinks maybe it always will. A reminder. Carmilla catches her eye knowingly and nods, holding out a hand to help her up.

‘Did you make the right decision?’ she asks, and Danny is reminded that Carmilla is full of so much knowledge; that she has seen so much.

‘I did.’

‘What decision?’ Laura asks, rubbing at her face harshly with her sleeve.

Danny stills for a second as her left arm brushes against her hip, and she feels the hilt of Artemis’ dagger lying in wait beneath her jacket, heavy with responsibility.

‘Come on Hollis,’ is all Danny says, stepping forward to start the walk back to the campus where the uncertainty of all their fates remain. ‘We’ve got work to do.’

 

**Author's Note:**

> pls come talk to me about danny lawrence's safety over at just-impolite on tumblr. also title taken from barcelona's 'come back when you can'


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